Things are okay today. N got a small amount of money from the person I will now call "Evil Dude" for the sake of making something even the tiniest bit humorous out of a seriously bad situation. I will at least be able to get payroll this week, as well as pay a couple of bills. I was also able to pay a couple of bills this morning, so we're at least not behind the 8 ball. I have to stay in the moment somewhat right now, otherwise I'll be flipping out all day due to panic attacks. I did a card reading this morning, something I have not done in a very long time, which gave me some great insight into how to handle my conflicting emotions today. Following some of what I read, I made sure I took my Baby Girl to the beach today. We ran around in the sand, picking up shells and making sand forts, until she became tired and started throwing sand at me. She is still sniffly and tires quickly. She will never admit that she's tired, therefore when the sleepy bug bites her she switches into crazy mode and begins doing things like throwing sand, lying on the ground refusing to move, and other such unpleasant activities. Being at the beach with Little B kept me focused on the importance of family and on the happiness of childhood. I knew from the reading not to expect Evil Dude to come up with the full amount he owes my husband. I also knew that allowing myself to fall apart in fear over this fact was not going to help my family in any way. The worst was indeed realized when we discovered that E.D. owes nearly everyone with whom he is involved, including his employees, money. However, my husband's perseverance resulted in him obtaining enough money to get us by for another week or so. Anyway, one day at a time, we can get through the struggles before us!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Just For Today
Things are okay today. N got a small amount of money from the person I will now call "Evil Dude" for the sake of making something even the tiniest bit humorous out of a seriously bad situation. I will at least be able to get payroll this week, as well as pay a couple of bills. I was also able to pay a couple of bills this morning, so we're at least not behind the 8 ball. I have to stay in the moment somewhat right now, otherwise I'll be flipping out all day due to panic attacks. I did a card reading this morning, something I have not done in a very long time, which gave me some great insight into how to handle my conflicting emotions today. Following some of what I read, I made sure I took my Baby Girl to the beach today. We ran around in the sand, picking up shells and making sand forts, until she became tired and started throwing sand at me. She is still sniffly and tires quickly. She will never admit that she's tired, therefore when the sleepy bug bites her she switches into crazy mode and begins doing things like throwing sand, lying on the ground refusing to move, and other such unpleasant activities. Being at the beach with Little B kept me focused on the importance of family and on the happiness of childhood. I knew from the reading not to expect Evil Dude to come up with the full amount he owes my husband. I also knew that allowing myself to fall apart in fear over this fact was not going to help my family in any way. The worst was indeed realized when we discovered that E.D. owes nearly everyone with whom he is involved, including his employees, money. However, my husband's perseverance resulted in him obtaining enough money to get us by for another week or so. Anyway, one day at a time, we can get through the struggles before us!
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