Sleepy but Thoughtful

Why am I still up and on the computer at, let's see, 11:38 p.m.??? Wellllll, it's about the only time I can spend screwing around online these days; I finally admitted to myself that daytime blogging/surfing is, for the most part, an impossible inturruption to the normal routine. I have too many other things going on to justify the time spent on the computer, unless it's on stuff pertaining to the enhancement of said "normal routine". Plus, I just watched an hour of Paranormal State and found myself thoroughly creeped out and unable to drift right off to sleep. Tonight's show was about demonic possession, a subject I find to be quite terrifying in spite of the fact that I am, in most cases, immediately skeptical when someone claims to be possessed by an entity of the demonic variety. That said, I am also open minded and believe that people can be possessed by entities; I just think that our own personal spiritual beliefs can color such experiences (have you ever noticed that most people who are possessed by demons seem to be Catholic or of some other belief system which places an ephasis on the devil??? You hardly, if ever, see a Jew or a Buddhist or a Pagan in this position, at least, on television and in popular literature.). While I do believe that negative entities exist (I believe that I have encountered one or two in my lifetime thus far) I am unclear as to what they are. When I was in the early stages of adulthood and living in my grandparents' house, I would often feel a presence in my bedroom there; I never saw anything, but I would suddenly feel as though I was not alone and that something or someone of a malevolent disposition was in the room with me. Many, many nights I spent tucked into bed with a book, trying to read until I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. To this day, I do not know what I was experiencing in that room. My Grandparents were the only people to own the house and I don't think anyone else ever felt anything there. I never mentioned my experiences to anyone in my family; I understood how crazy it would have sounded. Indeed, even today I know that to some people it still sounds crazy, and maybe it was all just a result of some inner turmoil that was going on or something. It felt very real at the time, though. The feeling that would wash over me some nights can only be described as a sort of terror. Years later, my Grandfather passed away in that room after a brief but serious illness. I haven't had occasion to enter it much since that day.

Today, I understand the importance of blessing a home either before moving in or as soon as possible directly afterward. One need not complete an elaborate ritual, though what sort of ritual you choose is dependent upon which religious/spiritual path you follow. For me, a simple ritual with a white candle, some salt water and a spoken blessing did the trick. Because I spoke this blessing in every single corner of every single room in our house (I waited until a few months after we moved in to do this, after I'd realized the house needed some protection) the whole process proved to be time consuming, but I felt better afterward and our place felt a bit "lighter". I highly recommend that prior to moving into any new domicile, you either bless it or have it blessed. It can't hurt, and it's a nice way to start fresh in a new home.

Okay, I think I feel better now. I'm heading off to bed. 5 AM comes very early in these parts!!!!

House Hunting

We looked at another house yesterday, this time in Fort Lauderdale, and I have to say that just when my interest in this whole house hunting thing was beginning to wane (due to not being able to find ANYTHING that looked appealing and was within our price range) we found a cute home. The house is surrounded by bushes for privacy, is landscaped a little bit (lots of potential for some nice gardens), is located on a corner lot, and boasts a swimming pool. All of the rooms look out over the pool, and overall the house appears to be very sunny inside, which I like. The realtor is going to show us the place tomorrow night. We also found another house online, this one in Coconut Creek, which sits by the Hillsboro Inlet on a big lot. It's an A-frame house, which gives it a bit of a different look from most of the places we've been looking at, and from the picture online it appears that two large trees shade the front of the house. I love trees and have been praying that we would find a home with lots of them in residence. If we ever get motivated to leave our current abode, (we were out very late last night watching the fight at the home of a couple who are friends of ours-the fight on cable television, of course) we are going to check out the Coconut Creek house and see if it's a possibility. Sometimes houses look fabulous online but we arrive at the scene to find a place riddled with termites, or completely trashed by the former inhabitants, or stripped bare of any and all appliances (which means more cost to us when we move in to replace everything), or we find the house is located in a location that isn't good for us. I will keep my fingers crossed and pray that the Goddess will shine Her beautiful face our way with respect to this latest venture. I know that if we continue to put forth the effort, eventually we will find a nice house that we can afford. I'm just so damned impatient!!!!

Moving Forward in the Homeschooling Adventure

So, I found a really great group of homeschool families here in South Florida, in our general area (hooray!!!! I was beginning to think that all of the good groups that weren't super denominational were in Miami). We attended our first meetup on Wednesday at a park about 45 minutes from our house. I didn't mind the drive; it was actually kind of nice to be out of our usual zone of living. The park was awesome, with a huge area for the kids to play in, completely fenced in. The wind (and there was a strong wind blowing on Wednesday) kept things cool and I packed a lunch so that when Little One finally gave in to hunger she had good stuff to munch on. My Little One hates it when she has to stop playing and will go to great lengths to try to convince me that she isn't hungry, doesn't need to use the bathroom, etc. etc. etc. The group meets every week at a park (not always the one we met at on Wednesday; some are closer to our house) so my daughter will have a chance to socialize with the same kids (give or take a few) each week and have the opportunity to create some friendships, which will be good for her. I was relieved to find out that the group is full of down to earth, friendly people. I've been really searching for a group like this and it will be nice to have other people to share the homeschool journey with, especially since I'm new to the scene and not exactly sure what I'm doing!!!!!

Endorphins Alive!!!

We had a great weekend. N's parents drove down from Louisiana on Friday and visited with us all weekend; they left early this morning. Sunday was my little one's fourth birthday (how did THAT arrive so quickly) so on Saturday while she was visiting with her much enamored Grandparents, N and I went and picked up her new bicycle. We selected a metallic purple Barbie number with a pink backpack, very chic with the pre-school crowd, I hear. By the time we returned to the hotel, N's parents were quite tired and ready for us to be there, I think. They both seem younger than their years but the fact is that they are both in the early years of 80, and having an energetic-beyond belief four year old who is excited because it's her birthday and her Grandparents are around, can be exhausting! Little One loved her bike!!!!! I'm glad that I had the video camera poised for action when she opened the door (I snuck into the house first and waited for her to come in). Her little face reflected surprise first, then a grin slowly spread from ear to ear and she was all over that bike like ticks on a dog. The next several minutes were spent riding up and down the street, with me trailing behind, video camera in hand, trying to capture her first biking experience for posterity. I'm glad her Grandma and Grandpa were here to share in the moment. It was a good day, indeed.

This morning, just when I was about to talk myself out of going to the gym, I read the blog of a fellow blogger (thank you, Ellen!!!) and was inspired to get my butt out the door. I love going to the gym once I get there, but getting out the door on time can be dicey at times; I need to implement some serious schedule changes for myself (ie, waiting until night time or the afternoon to enter the domain of the internet, into which I can easily disappear for an hour at a time). Arming myself with a Johnny Cash CD and a water bottle, I hit the treadmill, ran for two miles, and felt great afterward. Add to that some work on the weights and I left the gym feeling energized and happy that I'd gone; had I not, I would have spent the day lamenting about the fact that I didn't work out after eating cake and all sorts of other evil foods over the weekend. I hate that after a woman hits the age of 36 she can't eat to her heart's content anymore, without serious repercussions. Nowadays my normal lifestyle has to include more healthy eating, working out, stretching, following creative endeavors and being spiritually centered. It's a good plan but some days more difficult to follow than others. I am also home pre-schooling my daughter-not too hard at this stage, but since I'm setting the groundwork for probable future homeschooling I have lots to learn and am spending quite a bit of time learning about what I need to do to raise a healthy and happy child, beyond the common sense stuff. It's a good Monday today!!!

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Balance, anyone????

Today has been an incredibly unbalanced day for me. I woke up late after not sleeping well, felt like I was behind the usual routine all day long (and when you have a small child, the "usual routine" is very important), felt like an awful Mom for being behind in our routine, wanted to cry off an on for the duration of the time since I got out of bed this morning. You get the gist. On a positive note, I added some items to my seasonal altar and am happy with the results. My little one came in later and placed some silk fall leaves (we don't have changing leaves here so we have to improvise) all over it and it looks truly fall festive. Plus, the candles smell wonderful and remind me that the Goddess is always close by, even on a bad day.