"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?"

Everybody make sure you set your clocks ahead one hour this Saturday!!!!! If not, for sure you will be late for work on Monday!!! (Incidentally, I've forgotten to do this before only to receive a phone call from work asking why I wasn't there...) Thank God my husband is my boss nowadays, and he knows how flaky I sometimes can be. (Calm down, all you feminists. I do the paperwork for my husband's business, hence the whole "boss" title...) I have been feeling tired and kind of yucky over the past few days. Feeling this way always causes me anxiety because it's remeniscent of how I felt when I was pregnant and I don't want to be pregnant again. My Mom might be Catholic but I don't feel it necessary to have ten children (unless that's your desire). The coolest thing for me about pregnancy was feeling the baby move around. Other than that, it was nine plus months of feeling nauseus, not being able to fit into my regular clothes, not being able to breathe once the baby got big (at around six months), not being able to do much walking because if I did my ankles would swell, and having to put up with countless numbers of people telling me what I should/shouldn't be eating, what the sex of my baby was (I'd had an ultrasound and knew she was a girl, but some people insisted that I was having a boy because I was carrying totally in the front-extremely aggravating), and how all of these horrible things were going to happen to my body (to date I've lost all the baby weight plus more, and I came out of the whole thing with no stretch marks or varicose veins). I don't want to go there again, no matter how much of a blessing I believe children to be. I love my little boobala and every minute of my pregnancy was worth the privilege of being her Mom, but I'm content to have one baby. That said, if it turns out that I'm pregnant you all will have to put up with months of listening to me kvetch about how awful I feel, so keep your fingers crossed that I'm not!!!!!

The Changing Winds...

Some days I just literally thank God for the stability that comes with having a child. Another girl friend of mine told me she and her husband are moving away (not for about five years, but still, they're leaving). Nearly everyone I know is getting tired of living in South Florida because of the hurricanes and the congestion that's coming with all of the new people moving here. Also, most of the people I know who have kids don't want their kids going to school here, and a teacher friend of mine (who just told me she is moving to Georgia) backed up their sentiments on Sunday by telling me the middle and high schools here are generally terrible. I grew up in Boston, where everything felt so solid. Here everything feels so transient and it's difficult to become too close to anyone because so many people don't stay here. We've been talking about moving away also, but we're not sure where we want to go. I'm leaning more toward North Carolina, I think. I love the weather here during the winter but I'd like to raise my little one with better values than the ones I see here. There are good people here, don't get me wrong, but there is so much to contend with when it comes to raising children. I'm fearful of Little R growing up here. I'd like her to have a sense of God in her life, and to be able to grow up running around in the woods like I did when I was small. There aren't many woods left around here; the cities keep cutting them down so they can replace the real trees with palms that offer nothing in the way of shade and nothing in the way of habitat for the animals who have no place to go because the trees have been mowed down. My husband is licensed in Florida and knows people here, so he's hesitant to leave the state, but we'll see what happens. Time will tell. In the meantime, it's a day at a time, enjoying each day, creating, laughing, living, loving my family and thanking God for Little R.

Lazy Saturday

This is a picture of my husband looking out over Bourbon Street during our December trip to New Orleans, where he is from. The French Quarter has bounced back quite a bit from Katrina, but other parts of the city are still devastated. We met a woman who lost her home in the flooding; it's all so scary and sad. My husband's family lives in Lafayette and they were okay, but it was very stressful while we were watching the news, waiting for the hurricane to make it's way toward Louisiana. The energy in the French Quarter was wonderful and strong; we both wanted to sleep with the windows open through a lack of wanting to block that energy out. Today has been so lazy. I took a trip to Walmart this morning for sippy cups and sand toys. My husband is snoring away in the bed nearby; he worked this morning and is tired. We might hit a drive in later tonight. Movie watching is difficult with a baby, but at least if we're in the truck apart from other people we won't disrupt anyone else's movie watching enjoyment!!!! Last night a girl friend of mine invited us to an outdoor Shabbat service at her temple, where Rick Recht was playing. For anyone who isn't familiar with Rick Recht, he's fantastic. He plays Jewish rock music and he conducted the service with the Rabbi. All the little kids got up and were dancing in the front row (a little baby mosh pit of sorts). After going to Temple Beth El I'm convinced that it's a warm, friendly congregation and I might start going there more often with my friend who invited us there last night. Little R is still too young to know what's going on at services, but before I know it I'll be taking her with me and the Rabbi there really gets the kids involved and makes going to temple fun for them as well as educational. Anyway, I'm much more positive than I was when I last wrote and I feel bad that I got so upset with the guys working on the building. I guess it was just stress that built up over time; maybe just a result of me being away from the mountains for too long!!! I've been having dreams and fantasies about mountain climbing and hiking!!!!

Fire Alarms and Condo Conversions

As I was washing the dishes this morning, the people working on our building set the fire alarm off for the fourth time in a couple of weeks. It might not sound like a big deal, but the fire alarm emits an ear peircing noise that scares the baby and annoys the hell out of me. Today I'd had it; I went outside and yelled at them that they were morons, asking how many more times today the alarm would be set off. Totally unspiritual, I know. I guess I'm just more tired than usual; R was up in the middle of the night last night due to teething issues and this week has been non stop running around and I'm a little bit burned out. I'm frustrated with all of the renovations being done around here; when our building was just an apartment building they let it go to hell, but now that it's been sold to be transformed into yet more condos for people moving to Florida they're working on it like crazy and disrupting the lives of everyone still living out their leases here. A few days ago we had a living room full of plants because they are painting the outside of the building. Several days went by and they still haven't started painting our building, so finally I put the plants back out there. I'll move them again when they actually being painting our balcony area. Until then, babies and plants cannot co-exist in the same small apartment. At least, not my baby. She's 16 months old and running around and into everything, and the plants would NOT enjoy a long prosperous lives if she had her way. Not that she would hurt them intentionally; she is just curious. I suppose I'm feeling a bit resentful about the cost of living here having been driven up so high over the past few years. I really want to escape from apartment living; I'm so fed up with it. Real estate is through the roof here; Donald Trump is building $700,000.00 plus condos on the beach down the street from our home!!!! $700,000.00 and up!!!!! Florida used to be the poor man's California; now it's going to be just like California as far as real estate. Even a small, rundown shack on the outskirts of crack town is $300,000.00 to $400,000.00. It is extremely frustrating. Our trip to Ocala proved eye opening. It is beautiful up there and homes are slightly more affordable, but there is nothing to do up there and I'm concerned that we might not be happy, having lived near the cities of Fort Lauderdale and Miami for so long. I love the country, so, so much, but up there it's a long way to any sort of action, and I don't know what the kids do up there. Anyway, I've got to go and figure out what R and I are going to do today. For sure, we need to get out of here for awhile, maybe pack a lunch and head down by the beach again or something. Even the mall would be better than staying here.

Tuesday, Tuesday

We had a great weekend camping in the Ocala National Forest; lots of work but well worth it to get out of town for a few days. No cells phones, no work, just three days of being out in the woods. It was thirty five degrees the second night we were there, which was a bit chilly for tent sleeping, but other than that the weather was great. We did some short hiking and hung out with some cool people who camped on either side of us. Both groups had small children and our daughter hooked up with them right away. Once she saw the kids she didn't care that we were even there!!!! It was good to be home on Monday night; no more sharing bathroom space or sleeping in a chilly tent. I forget how much I love my bed until I spend a few nights without it, although we did have an air mattress, so we weren't exactly suffering... This photograph was taken near Key Biscayne, Florida. My husband and I were driving home one afternoon and noticed the spectacular sunset that was occuring over Miami, so we stopped to enjoy it. South Florida boasts some beautiful sunsets; I think it has something to do with the wide expanses of sky and our proximity to the ocean. I'm still not sure where we're going to move when our lease is up in October. We'd like to buy something but all of the people moving down here are helping to create a situation where it's very difficult to buy anything decent; prices of homes are through the ceiling. Hopefully something will come up; my husband knows a few builders; maybe someone will be able to give us a good deal on a home in the near future. Well, I'm just rambling tonight, so that's it!