Goose Totem

(Photo by Chuck Szmurlo)

Looking for some guidance the other night, I said a prayer before bed that a solution to our current situation, or at least to my current condition of fear and worry over our finances, would come to me in the night. I dreamed a wonderful dream that night. I was at my grandparents' house up north (neither is alive on this side of the veil), in the garage with my grandmother. My Grandfather was there as well, and my aunt (who is still alive) but they didn't engage much with us except to say hello. I was visiting with them but about to go back home, and it was going to be a long trip. I was planning a stop along the way in Colorado, and was thinking that the stop was a bit out of the way but I really wanted to see my friends there. My husband and daughter were not with me; they were back home. I don't get the feeling that I was coming home to Florida; rather, I feel like "home" was someplace out west. I felt sad that I was leaving my grandmother but not overly sad. In the dream I knew that she was not alive. I was conscious of the fact that I couldn't smell her hair when she hugged me; she was before me in a different form, unlike my own. I knew that I would be seeing her again and so wasn't overcome with sorrow, and the trip I was embarking on was one of great joy so I was excited to go. It seemed there wasn't much talking going on between us, it was more just an exchange of unspoken emotion, of love. We hugged each other for a long time and when we let go I felt tears coming on, but then that brief moment of the pain of separation passed and I felt okay. She was happy and encouraging me to take the trip. Throughout the dream, I noticed geese flying in the sky outside the garage door. As well, I saw them flying past when I got out of my car on first arriving at the house. I remember Canadian geese from my childhood; we had tons of them during the warmer months of the year. I felt great when I woke up the next morning; a sense of peace had washed over me but I couldn't quite get a grasp on what the dream was about or why it gave me a feeling of ease. I consulted a book I have by Ted Andrews called Animal Speak, flipping eagerly to the page about the goose. First, it is interesting to note that geese are related to swans, as the swan has been my totem animal for many years. The book further goes on to relate that there are eight geese species in North America, the number eight being similar to the symbol for infinity. The goose "reflects movement, a call to the spiritual quest". Ted Andrews also says that the migratory nature of the goose shows us that sometimes it's good "to search out new worlds and dimensions" and that great quests bring fulfilled promises. Even the V-formation utilized by geese as they fly is significant. It is open on one end, symbolizing an opening to new possibilities and forms an arrow on the other which indicates that we are about to embark firmly on a new path. The letter "v" in Hebrew is "vau" which means nail. This is a path we are really committing ourselves to, one that is firm and sure. Geese have exceptional vision, and when the goose appears as a totem it is possible that we are going to be gifted with greater vision as well; in the case of this dream I feel that the vision is going to be of a more abstract nature. The passage ends by saying that the goose could be reflecting a breaking free from old childhood restraints and a coming into one's own. This is interesting in light of the fact that I was with my Grandparents, at the house I grew up in, for the entirety of this dream.

I feel that it will take some time to fully understand what was being related to me in this dream. I do feel that it was an answer to my question the night before; there was too much relevant information within it to take it as a coincidence, and I was not previously aware of all of the symbology of the goose as totem. Maybe my focus of this current situation has been in the wrong direction. Maybe there is something more proactive that I should be doing. I'm looking forward to going into a meditation where hopefully my spirit guide will come to me. I have been refraining from any sort of spiritual work such as meditation for personal reasons. I believe that when embarking on spiritual quests we need the proper tools to handle the images and information that comes our way. I'd been getting too overwhelmed and freaked out for awhile about all of the "stuff" that was coming at me, and I felt a need to back off and learn more. As well, we need to be willing to allow the great song of life to shape us, and sometimes I think this involves a great backing off from fear, and a willingness to be responsible and willing to do what is called upon us to do, whether it's doing relief work in a foreign country, teaching kids art, raising a family, etc. I feel like big changes are afoot and I'm a bit afraid of how I will be called upon to change, grow, and act. But, it's better to be in the Song than standing on the sidelines watching life pass by and getting sicker and sicker each day with fear and depression.