Ah, The Sunny Month of June

I found this picture at the Nicks Fix web site, a pretty cool site dedicated to all things Stevie, whose music I've loved for many years. I was reading a peice about her today and came across a statement she made about how she didn't want to have kids because she knew that her creativity would suffer for it; she wouldn't be home to raise them and had no desire to go to PTA meetings. That made me think about my own creativity and the concessions I have to make due to my own familial obligations. It is true that, as a Mom, my time is largely taken up with the responsibilities of taking care of a home, raising my daughter, and worrying about both things. I fit my creativity in also, but I've only been managing to do that as of late, and that was because I finally realized I was slowly going insane. I can't selfishly immerse myself in my art for days at a time, but I can make time during the day to devote to creativity, although I have to choose just one avenue of creativity down which to wander each day (which is why I haven't been blogging as often as previously I was). I don't see myself as a conventional Mom, though. I've tried and tried to do the Mommy group thing, mostly for the sake of my daughter, but most of the time I'm not feeling it. I'd rather take her to the park or somewhere else on my own; she still meets other kids and has fun, and I don't feel compelled to make small talk unless I come across someone interesting who I actually want to talk to, and that does happen fairly often. I've met some cool women at the Mommy groups, but I must admit that overall the meet ups aren't something I particularly enjoy. Maybe if I could find a local Mommy group with some witchy pagan chicks I'd enjoy it more; who knows? As far as the PTA thing, I want to be very involved in my daughter's education; I've even considered homeschooling because I don't like so many of the ideas presented in public schools. I also like the idea of my daughter attending a private school that allows the kids to be creative and incorporates visual art and music into the curriculum in more than in an aside sort of way. The problem with private schools is that they cost a huge amount of money, and I'm not sure we'll have that option available to us. As far as homeschooling, I don't know if my daughter will thrive as much if she's learning from me, and if she'll have trouble adapting later, say, if she decides to go to college. I think having some sort of outside education is important; it allows for kids to spread their wings a bit. I will need to learn more about the pros and cons of homeschooling before I will consider it as a serious option. Hubby isn't too hip on the idea anyway. I don't have an image of myself as the stereotypical soccer Mom; I don't want to lose who I am, I don't want to lose my edge or the funky part of my persona just to seem more normal to other parents. I do know that when it comes to my daughter, I am constantly striving to be a better person for her sake, to be a good example, to overcome my fears, to step outside my usual rhelm of comfort in order for her to have fun and meet other kids. I don't see that I have to make a choice between being a Mom and being an artist, but it is definitely more challenging to be both of those things well. It's not impossible, though, and sometimes the struggle makes me want to fight all that much harder to be terrific at both.