Mall Rat Wednesday

Today was a good day, but after yesterday's post I'm ashamed to admit that today I had a case of the "I wish we made more money" blues. I guess it was triggered by our trip to the mall; we went there to meet up with a girl friend and her kids. We had a great time-ate lunch together and talked. The kids had a chance to socialize a little bit and then K had to leave because she had some work to do at home. I spent another hour or so walking around with Little One. I followed where she lead and immersed myself in her world. To a toddler, even the smallest things can be interesting. She broadens my world quite a bit. The thing is, I want to give her everything I had and more. Sometimes it gets to me that I can't give her as much as I'd like to-I see other moms at the mall buying these cute little outfits that I know I can't afford, and sometimes I'll see a toy that I think my daughter would enjoy but it's too much money at the moment. We are able to give her a lot, and I think that I'm probably worrying about nothing, but it's hard to not want your child to have the best of everything. When the time comes for her to start school, I want to send her to a good school. No, a great school. If, when our daughter is of school age, we're still living in the area we live in now, we'll need to think about an alternative to the public school system since most of the public schools down here aren't ones I would sent her to. There are some great Jewish schools available to us, so at least there are options, but some of those schools are quite expensive. I would love to be able to just send her wherever we think she would best thrive, without money being such an issue. We live a good life; I'm not complaining. We're currently in a slump because some people who owe us money haven't paid us, and once they do pay us we'll be in a better position. That said, some financial insecurity has probably been triggered in me that, in turn, lead to my feeling frustrated by the mall today. Business ownership is scary because there is never a guarantee of a paycheck and some months/weeks are frightening. This is one of those weeks. I think that the solution for me today is to think about the things for which I am grateful, and there are many. Today is today, and today we're okay, financially and otherwise. I may not have had the money today to buy anything at the mall (other than lunch, for which I'm grateful because some people can't afford to take their kids out to lunch), but we had fun just the same. My daughter cared about being out running around, not about me buying her a new pair of shoes or a new toy, and I couldn't put a price value on the time I get to spend with her right now. I cherish this time beyond words.