A Day at a Time

Having been full of stress, fear, and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed, I resolved to try the "one day at a time, live in the moment" mantra once again. When I live in each moment and don't obsess about all of the bad things that might happen, or the things which I want to happen which might not, or about the things that I need to get done which I'm not doing at that moment, etc., I become filled with an anxiety that ruins the moment I'm in and fills my day with an ever present feeling of fear and hopelessness. I took my new attitude to the park today with Little One and we had a great time, even though I felt tired today and wasn't one hundred percent. Digging in the sand, swinging my daughter on the swing, flying down the slide, and climbing all have amazing therapeutic value, especially when a two year old who is completely in the moment is with you, reminding you of what is really important in this life. The world wants you to think it's making money, or buying that shiny new car they keep advertising on television, or what's happening next week on Desperate Housewives, or dying your hair that magnificent shade of L'Oreal blonde/stretching your eye lashes to illegal lengths with this amazingly black mascara which will make heads turn and instantly transform you into the goddess that you wish you were back when the kids were making fun of you in grammar school/high school for just being who you were. Just about every advertisement on t.v. plays to our egos, to the hurts inflicted upon us as children which we seek to heal in adulthood, to wanting to be better liked/loved, to be more attractive (usually on the outside). Hummer tries to convince us that buying a big, gas guzzling monstrosity of a vehicle will make men feel more manly, or will get us revenge on the other soccer mom who tried to push us around at the field while tossing back her silky red locks carelessly, a diamond the size of a baseball adorning the hand doing the tossing. It's all B.S. The world wants us to think that all of this material crap will fill the holes within us when all this stuff does is temporarily mask the pain, until the stuff isn't new anymore and reality once again encroaches. Don't get me wrong, having "stuff" isn't wrong in itself, nor is wearing makeup, dying our hair, or wearing clothes that fit our personalities. It's when we use these outside things to completely define who we are, or we think that by changing our outside appearance or buying a vehicle that we think makes us look tougher, smarter, etc. we'll change our lives for better that we get into trouble. The key lies within; finding a spiritual center, learning how to reach out to other people who need us, finding the time to hang out with our kids at the park and to really be there with them, instead of thinking about all of the things that we need to do once we get home. Childhood doesn't wait for anyone. Someday my daughter will be grown and I don't want to look back and realize all I missed because I was dwelling on things that I won't even be able to remember years from now. So, one day at a time, one moment at a time, live in the now. Now is what's happening.