Today was the 17th anniversary of my father's death and I think I've handled it better this year than in years past. I lit a candle this morning, said a prayer for him and talked to him a little bit, then let the candle burn for awhile. The sadness overtook me briefly while I was in the car this afternoon (music always has the power to reach those sensitive areas which I can usually hide with girly brovado) but I have so many things to be grateful for that I tried to just pull myself back to the moment. I had dinner tonight with a couple of girl friends who I don't get to hang out with too much anymore and that was nice. Little R didn't want to eat anything but french fries but what the hell. I think she ate a few scraps of chicken, and usually she eats healthy food, so a day of french fries once in awhile is okay (she ate half of a grilled cheese sandwhich and a bunch of fries for lunch). The picture of Boston is one I took years ago when I was living downtown. It's so old that this area doesn't look like the picture anymore. More buildings have been added to the skyline. I decided to use this picture because it's part of the past and that's what I had to fight today-the faded pictures of my past lives. It's okay to wander down those hallways sometimes, and fun to remember the good stuff, but inevitably it always turns melancholy for me and I can't take too much melancholy now that I don't drink.
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