A Little Celtia

Many years back I began studying Celtic spirituality. This interest was encouraged both by a boyfriend I was involved with at the time who found the "usual" religions to be distasteful at best and by the women's studies classes I was taking, which made me question the validity of patriarcal religions as a whole. Having grown up with both Christianity and Judaism (my Mom's side of the family is Catholic and my Father's Jewish, although my Dad's Mom was born Irish Catholic; she renounced the religion after an unfortunate incident with a perverted Catholic priest) I learned about both over the years of my childhood but always fluctuated back and forth between the two. It was only upon entering college and meeting A that I realized the broad reach of spirituality-that other pathways existed to God besides the two religions I'd been introduced to in my younger days. During those times when I wasn't sure what I actually beleived in-what was right and true for me- I always knew that I was Irish. That, at least, had been emphasized by my family while I was growing up; what they lacked in religious furvor they made up for in Irish pride. When I was eight months pregnant with Little R I completed a conversion to Judaism and immersed myself in the mikvah (ritual bath) to be ritually reborn into this new faith. It was a beautiful moment, aside from almost drowning due to the turbulent waters and rip currents created by a recent hurricane (who knew the ocean would be so violent that day???). Lately, I've been needing to connect more with my Celtic heritage and have been turning to my spirit guides and the wisdom of my ancestors to help me to do that. I'm currently reading a book called Kindling the Celtic Spirit, by Mara Freeman and am finding it very helpful as far as learning more about the history of Celtic spirituality and as a guide for some special rituals I can do to celebrate the movement of the Celtic year. Re-embarking on this path has added an extra sparkle to my day and I look forward to this journey. There truly are many paths to both the masculine and feminine aspects of God; may you be blessed with a wonderful spiritual journey yourself!

Blasted Cold Viruses!!!!

Just when I thought we were all getting over all of our various "bugs", Little R (who seemed fine for the first half of the day) was suddenly, at noontime, inconsolable. She started crying and screaming and just wanted me to hold her. She nibbled a few Saltines down and then we snuggled on the couch for awhile and watched Lilo and Stitch. Eventually, she fell asleep, but only briefly. She managed a grilled cheese sandwich at the dinner table and is now sleeping soundly. She seemed to be feeling better during the evening hours. Hubby is also sick now; he is burning a fever and was complaining of a headache and an upset stomach. Arghhhh!!!! This is the worst time of year here in Florida, because so many people come to visit and they bring with them all kinds of viruses for which we Floridians have no defense. I wish that I could go back home to Boston for a few months every year; I was hardly ever sick when I lived up there, despite the chilly winters. Well, here's to a good night's sleep and feeling better tomorrow!

Sick Day

Bean was sick today; she woke up this morning throwing up, with a slight fever and feeling very cranky. She didn't eat much today but she seems to be feeling a lot better tonight. She's been Mommy's little shadow all day long, and I felt so bad for her that she was sick (although I've been sick also!). I went to a meeting tonight and was glad I did, even though I felt like sitting at home and continuing the process of getting over this cold. I've done everything I can, short of going to the doctor, to get rid of it. I've tried healing meditations, eating right, taking vitamins, drinking lots of fluids. The key ingredient that I'm having difficulty getting is rest. There isn't much time to rest with a two year old, basically three jobs (one as a Mom, one as a book keeper for my husband's business, and one as an artist) and too few hours in the day. The meeting I went to tonight was about having humility, and also about having the confidence in ourselves to pursue our goals and dreams without feeling the certainty that we'll fail. I sometimes need to work on this one. Sometimes I'm my own worst critic, but if I just keep on keepin' on I find that my confidence builds. That's all from me tonight. Peace to the blogger world. Tra la la.

Hi from South Florida

Gads, there has been so much death around me lately. Not of people with whom I'm close, thankfully, but still, it's right there. Given my past, I'm a bit supersticious and creeped out when there is so much death at the doorstep. I've lost lots of people who were close to me. I don't take any day or even any moment for granted, nor do assume that I will have time to do this or that "next year" or even "next week". People sometimes say I'm too paranoid, but to me it's just reality. Being in this blogger community for just a short time, I didn't know Betcha, but I hope that she is okay and alive somewhere out there. I'm hoping that something not so bad is amiss and that's why she hasn't checked into the online community. When I read A's blog, I freaked out and thought he might be talking about Stealthbombshell, so I checked her blog; thankfully, she was okay, but that lead me to finding out who actually is missing, and it freaked me out to think that this beautiful, young and obviously well loved woman had disappeared. So, today we had lunch with my daughter's Bubbie. She has been sick for a long time and is having surgery in about three weeks. She will probably be okay, but you never know, so even though R and I are both sick, we met with her for lunch and just made sure not to get too close to her (which is very difficult for her given that she loves R so much!!!). My Dad always told us to tell people you love that you love them every time you say goodbye. I think he was right about that, 'cuz you just never know what could happen once you part ways.

Saturday Night

So, today wasn't the best of days, but we're safe, healthy and here in our own home so I guess things aren't all that bad. We had planned to go to the circus today with Little One, but N had it in his mind that the circus was at a different arena from the one where it was actually taking place in Miami, and we didn't have time to backtrack. In short we missed the whole thing and spent $100.00 for nothing. That put N in a bad mood for the rest of the day, and I wasn't too happy either, especially since that meant that we came home and he watched football all day while we hung around the house bored out of our skulls. Finally, at around 7:30, I took Little One out for a walk around our development. It is beautiful night here tonight and I couldn't bear to spend another minute indoors, and besides that, the baby was going crazy, much as she is right now. Sigh. Tomorrow is another day!!!!

Bahama What????!!!!

My husband let it slip tonight that he is in the bidding for a job in the Bahamas that will take about ten years to complete. He never mentioned to me that he was going to bid a job that required us to move to the Bahamas and, quite frankly, I'm freaking out. I'm not sure what the chances are that we will get it, and some of you might think I'm crazy for saying this, but I DO NOT want to move to the Bahamas. Me, I'm a mountain girl and an earth spirit. I like pine trees and cool breezes and deep woods and big mountains that I can climb. All I see in the Bahamas is lots of water, lots of beaches, and a whole lot of activities that involve agua, which is not my element. The local cuisine might be interesting, and I know that it's beautiful, but it is not my bag as a full time gig. That place gets hit horribly when hurricanes breeze through; I get stressed out enough about hurricanes living in Florida!!!! So, we shall wait and see what happens. Ee gads.

A New Year Begun

I'm a little screwed up today, but just trying to focus on my spirituality. Yesterday my focus was on trying to live with integrity and humility, and practice peace, since the day before yesterday I had a verbal knock down with a woman at an AA meeting who complained about my daughter. My daughter quietly colored for all but the last ten minutes of the meeting, when someone gave her two cookies and she proceeded to go a little crazy. Meanwhile, this woman never attends this meeting (which happens to be my homegroup). She got in my face and I got back into hers. I never back down if I feel I'm right, but I wish that I'd handled myself a little better. I woke up the next day with an emotional hangover and needed to do a lot of spiritual work to get into a place of calm, a place where I wasn't going over the altercation in my mind again and again. Anyway, there is something else throwing me a bit off today. Our friend's girlfriend just got out of jail and she is hanging out with me today. Hopefully I can help her, but I guess I'm an intensely private person, and having someone else around my house is uncomfortable. I didn't expect that she would be here today and I wasn't asked in advance if this would be okay, although last night I agreed to it. I will be very happy when life returns to normal without all of this dysfunction. Where are we supposed to draw the line??? I'm never good at that; I want to help people, but I have to think about my daughter's well being first, and also, I suppose, my own peace of mind. Anyway, I'm trying to stay in a positive place.