Why am I online again?

I sometimes think that there is no one out there who knows how to waste time better than I do, and I hate that fact. There are only a few hours contained within each day; I have so many things I want and need to do, but yet I piddle away the minutes on this little task, and that little chore, and soon it's noontime and soon after that it's 5:00. I've refrained from posting or even visiting my blog sites for a couple of days, since once I log on it seems that I fall into a black hole. Two hours later, I emerge feeling guilty and tired. My daughter is watching tv with N right now, but she's been watching tv for too long now. He isn't feeling well today; some sort of stomach thing that has been making the rounds. Tonight I'm speaking for a friend at a hospital rehab center. I've considered what I will be saying, but also realize that seldom does what I plan to say actually end up being what actually sputters forth from my mouth. Most times, things go well; they can't be too planned, though, or they sound phony, like you're reading from a recovery textbook but have no idea what it truly feels like when you need to be in a program of recovery. Hopefully I don't get nervous and blank out completely. That happens on occasion and it feels extremely awkward.