Blooming Childhood

It's amazing how much having a child makes us willing to work on our own character defects, to chip away at our flaws, dig deep within ourselves for reserves of inner strength and courage we never knew we had, to push ourselves and give of ourselves happily, to do whatever it takes in an effort to raise a well adjusted and happy child. I've been a Mom for three years now, blessed with the gift of this beautiful little girl who fills my every day with purpose and sunshine. For the first two years, being a Mom was a fairly simple job. My daughter was happy with just about everything we did whether it was hanging out at one of the many playgrounds in our area, going for a walk, playing at home with her toys. Even shopping was an adventure to be savored. Now that she's three, I've been suddenly hit with the realization that this little person needs more creative ways of spending her time. We've been doing educational activities together since she was very young, such as learning how to count and learning colors. For a time, she was doing great with her letters but lately she's been forgetting them, and I was struck by the fact that she's forgetting them because I've been slacking off with regard to teaching her. For some parents, this might not be disturbing. My daughter is, after all, only three and it's not as if she should be reading the Iliad by now. But, because I'm tossing around the idea of homeschooling and have even applied to join a group of parents here in Florida who homeschool (I believe that a group is the way to go for us, since this guarantees interaction between other kids and between the parents), I feel badly that I've somehow dropped this ball. The good thing to come from this feeling of inadequacy is that now I'm ready to do something about it. Today, my daughter and I spent a chunk of our day working on letters and letter sounds. She has a letter game which assisted us with this and I have a lesson plan downloaded from an online site which we will work on later. We spent some time outside on her tricycle, and now my little one is pedaling on her own, despite not wanting to try at first because she was fearful of falling over. A little encouragement and a birdfeeding segway helped me to nudge her into climbing onto the bike and starting along. And, we spent some time just hanging out, playing. I was amazed at how easy it was for me to spend quality time with her and still get my other work done, and I know that even on busy days a little determination and lots of good time management should keep us on track.

I'm glad that I have the tools of recovery and spirituality in my life to help me deal with issues that otherwise would completely overwhelm me. Because of my program of recovery, I am unwilling to sit in a puddle of helplessness and let despair and fear seep into me until I'm rendered inactive. Fear makes me uncomfortable; when confronted with it in any of its many forms my reaction is usually to find a solution that makes me feel more comfortable. Sometimes this takes ten minutes, sometimes this takes two weeks. In the end, however, I cannot stay in fear indefinitely because I know that reveling in it for too long will lead only to destruction of some sort. Now that I have a child, inaction is no longer an option. From my spiritual path, I gleaned some very important information this morning through doing some spiritual work, work that is more easy to do at this time of year when the veil between the worlds is a bit thinner and ancestral contact a bit easier.

I am grateful in this day.