Blahhhhh

I'm just in a baaad mood today. The only thing that snapped me out of it for awhile was going out for lunch with my daughter. As soon as I got back home all the negativity returned, and I don't know how long it will stay. I just wanted to be a Mom today. I wanted to take Little One to the playground and run around with her and just watch her be happy. Instead I wound up with a whole pile of work to do which I hadn't expected and which pissed me off immensely. It shouldn't have, I guess. I know I should just be grateful that we're getting business. I am grateful; I guess I just overwhelm easily and today I wasn't in the mood for the storm of paperwork which I suddenly found myself drowning in. I feel like I'm not a good Mom when I'm not able to take enough time in my day to go to the park or to just spend some one on one with my daughter, and that causes me to feel this very uncomfortable, burning resentment. When I got home, the stuff I needed had been faxed over, but for some reason the girl faxed it to me in this tiny, practically unreadable format and I had to enlarge it, which took me a few tries since my printer was not cooperating. I guess the holidays are starting to get to me a little bit too. I miss my hometown, miss my family, am getting fed up with this place (again), and just found out a friend of mine is moving away-far away. This person had an immensely positive effect on my life and it's hard to say goodbye even though we don't talk much anymore (he's a former boyfriend and since we're both with other people now I guess it's kind of awkward). I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm trying to focus just on that stuff but sometimes my darker side takes over. Today is just one of those days. Tomorrow will probably be better....