Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Sighs of Determination

I'm a little bit tired today, but determined to live my life with more organization from today forward because I can't seem to get anything accomplished otherwise. My art, homelife and peace of mind have been suffering for the chaos in which I've been reveling and it has to stop. There is so much I want to accomplish outside of being a great Mom and a great partner to my husband; those things are infinitely important, but I didn't cease to be when I married and became a Mom. Lately I feel I've been resigning myself to the fact that I simply don't have time for my creativity and I've realized that, for an artist, the end of creativity is the end of the self. I've been going completely out of my mind with the pain of stifled energy. Little R is safely tucked into bed for her nap, the house is quiet, and I feel it's a good time to put on some Irish music and get to work cleaning up the rest of the mess that is our newly moved home. Once I get that done my free time will be available for artistic pursuits, and I can begin to feel a bit more like me again. I think I'm experiencing what lots of moms feel; I feel like there are so many demands on my time and so little time left over for doing the other things that I enjoy doing. Our lives are short, and they are the culmination of all of our experiences. It's up to me how I live my life and up to me to make me happy and to pursue my dreams. And, today's the day!!!! (By the way, the "Today's the Day" slogan was penned by Mel Fisher, not Monster.com, regardless of whether or not they trademarked it!!!!!)

1 comment:

AndyT13 said...

Oy! My life is a series of slogans now. I didn't realize (or maybe I blocked out) the fact that you were going to idiots anonymous too.
After 25 years of getting as twisted as possible as often as possible I finally gave up and asked for help. I don't like it one bit and I have no confidence of success but I'm trying. Today is 35 days=35 meetings. 6.5 more hours until today is over. I'm pretty much of a mess despite how good things are going. I have so much more free time now that I'm not chasing that stupid demon around anymore. I still miss him though. I probably always will. The price of freedom is constant vigilance and sometimes we long to be slaves. Oh well. I'm glad it's working for bothy of us at least for today. You are loved. Now get back ta work lassie!