Hopes,,, and Gripes

Tuesday I deliberately did not make any plans because I wanted to watch the inauguration. Happy that Barack Obama was elected in the first place, and even happier that finally our country might begin to see some positive changes (albeit at a snail's pace-there is so much work to be done to pull us out of the economic mire that we are now stuck in), I was eager to bear witness to the momentous event of our country's first bi-racial man being sworn into office. Watching this event gave me some hope-hope not only that our country can once again rise to prosperity (for everyone, not just the priviledged few), but also that maybe, just maybe, with a President in office who is able to see a larger view of the world, that we also will learn to do so. While race relations in our nation are much better than they were ten, twenty, or thirty years ago, we still have much room for improvement. Some of the comments I heard during the Presidential campaign were simply ugly; in my naivete I'd thought that most people had outgrown that sort of ignorance. Thankfully, this stale, old prejudicial attitude was not the norm. Obviously, we've grown as a country and as a collective people, because Senator Obama is now President Obama, and the eyes crying with joy during the inauguration ceremony belonged to people of all color, nationality, and religion (I can't verify the religion part, but I'm sure it's true). I love that now little kids of all ethnicities can dream of greatness with hope in their hearts.

As far as my gripes today, they aren't really that important. Hubby and I are dealing with the world of mortgage loans and real estate agents and it's been an interesting and busy four months. We still aren't sure if we will be able to buy the home we've been hoping to purchase; first it seemed as though the loan would go through, but now we're not sure. The banks seem to change their minds like the weather changes in New England, and we are existing in a sort of limbo, not sure if we can begin to pack or if we should sign another year's lease. It's frustrating, but it's just something we need to keep plodding through. We'll have an answer soon enough, and if it's meant to be that we buy this place, then we'll be living there in a couple of months. Time will tell; all we can do is put forth the effort and hope for the best!

Hopes... and Gripes

Tuesday I deliberately did not make any plans because I wanted to watch the inauguration. Happy that Barack Obama was elected in the first place, and even happier that finally our country might begin to see some positive changes (albeit at a snail's pace-there is so much work to be done to pull us out of the economic mire that we are now stuck in), I was eager to bear witness to the momentous event of our country's first bi-racial man being sworn into office. Watching this event gave me some hope-hope not only that our country can once again rise to prosperity (for everyone, not just the priviledged few), but also that maybe, just maybe, with a President in office who is able to see a larger view of the world, that we also will learn to do so. While race relations in our nation are much better than they were ten, twenty, or thirty years ago, we still have much room for improvement. Some of the comments I heard during the Presidential campaign were simply ugly; in my naivete I'd thought that most people had outgrown that sort of ignorance. Thankfully, this stale, old prejudicial attitude was not the norm. Obviously, we've grown as a country and as a collective people, because Senator Obama is now President Obama, and the eyes crying with joy during the inauguration ceremony belonged to people of all color, nationality, and religion (I can't verify the religion part, but I'm sure it's true). I love that now little kids of all ethnicities can dream of greatness with hope in their hearts.

As far as my gripes today, they aren't really that important. Hubby and I are dealing with the world of mortgage loans and real estate agents and it's been an interesting and busy four months. We still aren't sure if we will be able to buy the home we've been hoping to purchase; first it seemed as though the loan would go through, but now we're not sure. The banks seem to change their minds like the weather changes in New England, and we are existing in a sort of limbo, not sure if we can begin to pack or if we should sign another year's lease. It's frustrating, but it's just something we need to keep plodding through. We'll have an answer soon enough, and if it's meant to be that we buy this place, then we'll be living there in a couple of months. Time will tell; all we can do is put forth the effort and hope for the best!

Gumbo Limbo Nature Center Trip

We were out the door early this morning for our homeschool group's trip to Gumbo Limbo Nature Center in Boca Raton. The trip turned out to be a blast; the woman who did the tour was patient, thorough, and very cool, there was lots to see, and the weather was good for the occasion (slightly overcast, breezy, warm but not hot). After a walk through the hammock during which we were treated to all sorts of trees, insects, spiders, cool breezes, and a view from the wooden observatory out toward the ocean (which is across the street from the park), we stopped by the park's three separate tanks. In the tanks we saw turtles, sharks, sea urchins, starfish, and various fish, such as barracuda and pufferfish. The kids had fun looking over the side of the tank; at one point the baby turtle above swam over and poked her head out of the water as if asking to be fed. The park is very involved in helping to rebuild and protect the sea turtle population.

I took several pictures, some of which turned out better than this one, but my computer was having issues while I was attempting to upload them and so the battery on the camera died before I was able to accomplish even half of this task. I will need to do this later-so disappointing as I was hoping to view the pictures after I arrived home. We are an immediate gratification oriented society these days; sometimes I fall prey to this affliction as well! Who am I kidding? I fall prey to it every day. I think that sometimes I hear G-d laughing. In fact, I heard Him just a few minutes ago when I was trying to copy the pictures onto my computer.... Of course, I don't mean this in a literal sense. That would mean that I'm even crazier than I think I am.

Anyway.... after the tour we all had lunch together at a nearby playground. This was probably the biggest playground I have ever been to. The kids had fun running around inside this mazelike wooden structure; there are all sorts of clever gadgets and bright pictures at various points, and a sand play area nearby.

Now I'm tired and looking forward to an easy dinner, giving my little one a bath, and lying down in bed with a book. Happy Tuesday night, everyone!

Mommyhood

One thing I've come to realize about being a parent is that it drives us to heights we never thought possible. Really. In spite of the stress, the hyper-scheduling (my own Mom's term), the constant demands on our own time, the always having to put your own needs secondary to the needs of your child (which doesn't mean that you own needs can never be met, just that they sometimes will not be met according to your desired time schedule), the incessant tiredness (going to the gym helps a lot with this issue), being a mother has helped me to realize that I can achieve goals, spiritual and physical that I never thought possible. Part of the reason for this is that, as a parent, I want to set a good example of the best path to take toward happiness and well being. It's not enough for me to tell my child what I think she should do (what is ethically correct, etc.); I need to live my words. Children see straight through plain talk; in order for them to believe us enough to possibly try out our recommendations, they need to see us putting our words into action in our own lives.

I've realized lately that the only way for me to achieve nearly all of my goals on any given day, I've got to attack the day with the ferocity of a mother lion. I can't spend much, or any time, sitting on the sidelines reading a magazine (although a well planned day might yield downtime around nightfall), surfing the web (I have to do this early in the morning or late at night), or engaging in any other of the seemingly thousands of activities which try to draw my attention away from my daily goals. I have a very short attention span and need to be kept busy almost all of the time. Also, in spite of the fact that many of my friends seem to think that I'm a laid back person, deep within me there is a hyperactive maniac whose mind must be occupied at all times lest I fall into the depths of deep depression. Thankfully, these days my mind is nearly always busy, along with my hands (who also enjoy near constant activity). This character trait can be a double edged sword; I'm easily distracted but have found that I can gently guide my thoughts back to the needs at hand. In fact, if I sometimes go against the unproductive routines in my life, the comfortable but non-functional habits, I find that I am ultimately much happier because my daughter and my husband are happier, my home is running along a much smoother flow, I feel more spiritually fulfilled (it's sometimes hard to make myself go to synagogue on Friday night, but after I go I feel great and wonder why I made such a fuss about leaving the house), and I feel like I'm a more productive parent. Also, our business runs more smoothly, because I am able to find the time to do all of those little things for the company that DH does not have the time to tend to (payroll, billing, etc.).

At some point, I hope to incorporate my artistic pursuits into the mix of organized chaos. I'm sure that this will happen because, until this week, I never thought it possible to reach the point I'm at now, with our home reasonably clean and it's inhabitants fairly content. Right now, though, I have breakfast to make. Thank G-d this life flows one day at a time.

Sunday Night and ZZZZZZ

Another weekend has drawn to a close and it's seems like Friday night had just arrived! I did end up going to synagogue on Friday night, and although our usual Rabbi was not present, a woman Rabbi was there and she did a fabulous job. I left with a feeling of peace, ready to enter into another weekend.

This morning we joined some friends at the beach where, each Sunday, there is an organic market where one can buy fresh vegetables and fruit. I'd never been before, but the couple we met shop there once a month or so (they live about 45 minutes north of us so it's a bit of a drive to make with two small children). I walked around for awhile checking out the produce and soaking up the wonderful scent of fresh, organic vegetables (it always seems to me that organic veggies have a stronger scent) before selecting a couple of tomatoes and some huge carrots. That was all I could manage to pick before the crowds moved in. I sometimes become very anxious when I'm in a crowd atmosphere and today was one of those sorts of days. I left the market with $5.00 plus change in veggies, which is okay since they tend to spoil quickly. I can always go to Whole Foods for organic food during the week (I wish one would be built closer to where we live-they seem to be building everything else).

Two hours past dinnertime, my little one is suddenly hungry again and so she is eating a snack with her Daddy. This means that bath time has been pushed forward a bit, but it also meant that I had a few minutes to bang away at the computer keyboard. That said, she should be just about finished with her cheese, and I need to go run her a nice warm bath and snuggle her into her jammies for storytime. I love motherhood, but even mommies need some downtime!!!!

Relatives and Religion

Something has been troubling me a bit since we returned home-part of a conversation I had at the Cafe Du Monde while enjoying coffee with my sister in law, my husband's niece and my little family. At one point (I can't remember what we were discussing) my sis in law made a comment that some things should just be believed, like Christianity. She made a statement that even if one doesn't understand Christianity, one should just believe in it because it's the truth (or something like that-I might not be quoting her exactly). She knows I'm Jewish, and she doesn't try to convert me to her belief system, but there were comments such as this sprinkled here and there throughout our trip and they make me uncomfortable sometimes. I felt as though little jabs were, however unintentionally, being poked at my own belief system. At another point during the trip my husband mentioned a pastor who has a television show which I cannot stand, to the extent that my husband usually won't switch his show on if I'm in the room. My sister in law said that she didn't like him either, but for different reasons than me. She said that he speaks the truth, to which I responded that he speaks his own version of the truth. I went on further to say that depending upon who you are listening to, Biblical translations and even purely historical translations can be different. I'm not sure this went over very well, but it's the truth, and I'm not sorry I said it because I'm tired of my own religion being bashed because most people don't know much or anything about it.

I have no problems with someone else practicing a different religion. On the contrary, I love to listen to people talk about what they believe in and I respect people when they are passionate about those beliefs. For me, conflict enters when people start professing that their religion is the only true way and that if I don't believe what they do I will not enjoy a pathway to G-d. To me this sounds like bigotry and I have very little tolerance for bigotry. I'm going to post something here, not to offend anyone and certainly not to sway anyone else from their Christian faith, but simply to offer an explanation. It comes from the website Jews for Judaism (a great resource for Jewish parents and also for Jews who are "on the fence" about Christianity).

The Real Messiah: A Jewish Response to Missionaries

There's too much here for me to copy and paste, so I'm just going to provide this link. If you open it and read, even if you skim the document (it's quite extensive) it will provide you with the answers as to why Jews do not believe that Jesus was G-d in the flesh and why he could not be the Messiah. Again, it's not to intended to sway anyone but rather to inform with regard to Jewish belief. I feel that if people understood Judaism a bit more, they would not be so quick to react negatively toward it.

Living in a interfaith relationship can, at times, be difficult. I'm trying to raise our daughter in a Jewish way while still respecting my husband's faith as a Catholic. He isn't one of those thump you over the head with a copy of the New Testament Catholics, but that doesn't mean that sometimes our differing religious views don't pose struggles. I am the product of an interfaith marriage; my parents really didn't raise us with any definite religion, but with little bits and peices of both Judaism and Christianity. As a result, I grew up confused and have for years struggled with what it really is that I believe in. I think that my most recent searches religiously have brought me to an even deeper understanding of Judaism. I understand what I believe in now better than ever because I've wandered a little bit; I've discovered different avenues down which G-d can be reached and found that some of them work well in a Jewish context. I don't want my daughter to have to struggle so much, though. I want to provide her with a solid foundation of faith, to show her that Judaism can be deeply spiritual, that it can be compatable with feminist ideas, that it can be fun. Sometimes doing this can be like swimming against a strong current and sometimes I get tired. I will admit that the winter holidays are the most difficult in this regard because everyone just assumes that we celebrate Christmas and will ask my daughter about Santa and, afterward, what she got for Christmas. Although we have a tree for my husband, we don't "do" the whole Santa spiel. My daughter doesn't even like Santa Claus; he creeps her out when she sees him the mall. She doesn't seem to be deprived in any way because we don't have a Santa tradition. We light our menorah, say the blessings and open gifts and it's a beautiful time for our whole family. If we're home for Christmas, we usually open a few gifts on Christmas day so that my husband's religion will be respected. During the Christmas and Hanukkah holidays, I feel more tension in our home. The differences in faith that my husband and I possess are more clearly defined, while during the rest of the year there doesn't seem to be as much conflict. That said, I'm glad that they are now over for another year. The tree will come down tomorrow or Sunday, and life can resume normally. Tonight is Shabbat, and I'll go to the synagogue and maybe bring my daughter (she's only four, but a few people have told me that the experience might still be good for her and I agree). I will not be logging on tomorrow due to the Sabbath, but I wish you all a wonderful tomorrow!

First Day

(picture by miamicondolifestyle.com)

In spite of my trepidation with regard to going out last night, and the fact that I was tired from my day as well as from my two mile morning run (getting back into a work out routine can be a bitch, but it's so necessary for me), we had a great time last night at the party. It turned out to be a somewhat quiet affair; not as many people showed up this year as in years past, and N and I knew most everyone who attended. I always surprise at myself for not being as shy as I once was. There was a time when the idea of attending a party would throw me into a state of high anxiety; nowadays I still experience that anxiety (albeit to a lesser degree), but once I get to the event I usually find that I'm quite comfortable and able to have a good time. I suppose that as we get older and realize that all we really need to be is ourselves, some of the pressure to perform is removed and we can just relax. It helps when the people around us are friendly, as they were last night. Being in a situation where the company is snobby or hostile can cause even the most self assured among us to feel a bit out of sorts. Though N and I kept telling each other that we were going to boogy home before the infamous ball dropped, suddenly it was 11:30pm and we decided that we might as well hang out for the duration. We engaged in all of that cheesy "happy new year" banter after the year turned to 2009, then watched some fireworks that the party host set off from his back boat dock. By the time we arrived home it was around 1AM; by the time I myself fell asleep it was around 2AM. No one in our home awoke before 10AM, aside from our cat, who was highly aggravated that we were still in bed and displayed her annoyance by stepping on my clock radio and waking us up to the sound of whatever horrible station began blaring through the speakers. When she stepped on the on button she also stepped on the tuner and turned the radio station.

I've thought a little bit about resolutions, but mostly I think that I just want to continue doing what I've been doing. That is, trying to grow a little more each day, to be more in touch spiritually, to love a little more, to be more creative and active as an artist, to be a better Mom, wife, friend, and person in general. Life is a journey, a process of growing, no matter what day it is. I hope your first day of 2009 is the continuation of a wonderful journey!


I am posting this link below because, as a Jewish woman, I feel that it is important to spread positive information about Israel. With current affairs being what they are, I wanted to post an article which I feel describes Israel's position and defends her a bit. I abhor violence but believe deeply in the right of a country to defend itself. You may, of course, decide for yourself whether or not you want to read it!

http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/middleeast/Defending_Israels_Operations_in_Ga.asp