Some Truths About Florida

It's a sunny Florida morning here so far, but while I was in the shower I was reflecting back on a recent trip to Rhode Island. A woman in the airport made a comment to me about how she would love to move to Florida so she could enjoy a "slower pace" of life. For some reason her comment annoyed the hell out of me, I guess because I've lived here for long enough to have shattered any past illusions I may have had regarding living here in "paradise". Following is a list of common fallacies and my responses:

1.) If you move to Florida you will enjoy a wonderful existance lounging at the beach drinking margheritas.

Truth: If you move to Florida you will most likely be working so hard to support yourself that you won't have much time to spend lounging on the beach. Unless, of course, you move here with lots of money. Most people who live here visit the beach at night and during the weekends, if they aren't working, which nice. But, don't expect to move here and suddenly be spending most of your time there.

2.) The cost of living is lower here.

Truth: The cost of living used to be lower here. I recently traveled back up north to Mass. and, believe me, the cost of living isn't any lower here than it is there. I pay $1200.00 a month for an apartment, spend more money on car insurance than I spent when I lived in city of Boston, and spend the same amount on groceries, etc., that I spend when I go back north to visit. Because of the demand for homes here (because of the glut of people moving here) the cost of even a crappy house is through the roof, and if you buy a house insurance rates are crazy due to our recent spate of heavy hurricane activity (which isn't expected to end any time soon). Despite the fact that the cost of living is beginning to skyrocket, the pay rates are not. Therefore, you could well find yourself trying to support your lifestyle while making less money than you made up north and spending just as much.

3.) Living in Florida is Paradise, all the time.

Fact: Having lived through two bad hurricane seasons, I know the reality of living in "paradise". I spent a full week back in October with no power, enjoying cold showers (when our water came back on) and trying to cook dinner on a camp stove. And we had a generator, which helps quite a bit. During the hurricane previous to Wilma we lost our power for three days. A girl friend of mine lost her home and decided to move the hell out of here. I have at least two friends who moved, one to Denver and the other to the mountains (okay, he actually just sold his house and is in the process of moving to the mountains somewhere) because of the hurricanes and the congestion caused by all of the new people moving here. Never in my life have a seen such a proliferation of crack cocaine abuse; twice I've had people try to sell me crack while I've been out riding my bicycle, and I wasn't riding my bike in a particularly bad area.

4.) Because we're in the south, people are friendlier in Florida.

Living in south Florida, where I live, is really like living in a hot version of New York City, due to the fact that half the people who live here have moved from New York (many of my friends here are transplanted New Yorkers). Half of the Italian New Yorkers living here think they just stepped out of a hip and slick episode of the Sopranos. Don't get me wrong, a few of those Italians are friends of mine, but it can be quite aggravating when one of them gets p.o.'d at you in the checkout line at the supermarket. It's dog eat dog in business, there are many, many people on the take, many scams in place to which it is easy to fall prey, and while I've made some good friends here, I've met lots of people who turned out to be genuinely psychotic. I was told when I moved here that most of the people who live here will turn on you on a dime and that it's wise to trust no one and I've sincerely found that to be true. Many of the good and true friends I've made here have eventually moved elsewhere because they became tired of the hurricanes and living in a perpetual state of mistrust. And that southern hospitality thing is a bunch of bs. I'd rather have someone tell me I'm a jackass to my face than act all nice to me and then stick a knife in my back as soon as I turn around.

5.) We enjoy a slower pace of life.

Truth: This might be true if you live in Key West. Life is definitely more relaxed there. Otherwise, it's a little more casual but not much slower. Maybe compared to New York City it's a little slower, but not compared to Boston, where I'm from. If you have a great work ethic you can do well here, because so many people do not. The truth is that no matter where you go you are going to have to work hard to be successful, and that truth holds here just as much as anyplace else. I spent the past four years busting my butt working in a law office and am relieved to be out of that business. I have experienced no less stress since moving to Florida, believe that.

All of this said, if you move here with an open mind and no expectation that your move southward will guarantee life in a Jimmy Buffet song, you might like it. I myself am looking toward moving to someplace with mountains and woods (most of the woods here are being cleared for condos). I will homeschool my child before I put her into a Florida school and subject her to the joke that is called education here. On the positive side, I met my husband here and we have a beautiful daughter. I've made a few good friends here. I found my spiritial truth here (and almost drowned doing an ocean mikveh after a hurricane-I think the Rabbi almost had a heart attack and the story will cause laughter throughout the temple for years to come). I've experienced many positive things while here, because I was open to positive things happening and to abandoning my preconceived notions about what Florida would be. But I'm tired of running from hurricanes, tired of the rudeness of people here, and tired of the hustle and bustle of the perpetual urban suburbia that exits here (aside from Fort Lauderdale and Miami, every place in south Florida is neither city nor is it suburban-it's kind of halfway in between). I'm tired of the hookers who walk up and down Federal Highway trying to make enough money to score a $20.00 hit of crack (it's getting better, but for a long time I couldn't even walk on Federal Highway without getting propositioned by someone hoping I was a hooker, and neither could any of the other women I know). I'm a hiker and a climber-my soul needs the mountains.

That's all from me for today.