Happy House Hunting

It's Friday again, and far from worrying about what other people think about me, I'm now concerned with not having a new place to live yet and our lease being up at the end of October, which will be here in a few days. I looked at a nice apartment yesterday only to find out today that someone rented it after I left. That's how it is down here. There are too many apartments being converted into condos and too many people who need apartments. Good places need to be snatched up right away, but I need N to come with me to look before we decide to rent a place, and lately that has been an adventure in frustration. He's very busy with work (good) and doesn't have much time free to come with me to apartment shop (bad). Hopefully this weekend we can find something; I'm too high strung to be waiting until the last minute to do this type of thing. I envy those people who own houses and don't have to think about moving anymore!!! **Sigh** I know that we'll find something; it's all about persistance. Getting discouraged now is a bad idea. There's a place for us out there.

Sexy Mamas

With all of the sad and frightening things going on in the world today, you would think my mind should be occupied with thinking of things other than sheer vanity. Alas, today what was bothering my noggin was the simple fact that I no longer feel like I have the vavoom I used to have. It sounds so trite and silly, but part of the reason it's bothering me so much is that in my mind I wonder if my husband thinks I still have that little somethin' somethin' I used to have. It's not an issue of weight; my body is pretty much back to what it was pre-baby, and I'm constantly working on keeping it that way. Maybe it's a matter of attitude. Maybe I "feel" too mommy and wife-ish to feel sexy??? No, that's not it, because I think that being a Mom and a wife can be incredibly sexy things. Maybe it's because I live in South Florida, surrounded by plastic surgery mavens and extremely sexy Spanish women. I'm an all-natural, Irish/Jewish girl-fair skin, red hair, green eyes; far from sporting that dark, exotic look carried by so many of my counterparts here in the sunshine state. I don't even like wearing a tan; it makes me feel like a baked chicken. Maybe I need a style makeover, but more than likely it's something in my head that needs to change. I've never been one to follow the crowd as far as what's in fashion. I was an artist at a very young age, wearing funky looking denim sneakers when I was little because I thought they looked cool even though no one else was sporting them, mixing stilletos with different colored Converse high tops throughout high school, dyeing my hair platinum and painting it with pink streaks. Don't get me wrong, I've been known to wear the latest in hip huggers and camisole tops, but I won't wear them unless they look right for me. I never wear anything just because it's all the rage in Vogue magazine or being flaunted on some far away cat walk. In college I went through a Dead Head phase where I wore lots of tie dyed clothing and long hippie skirts. That is probably the closest I've ever come to following a crowd, but, even then, I was in that mode of being because I loved the crowd I was running with and I loved the music. It was more a state of mind than a state of fashion. At that stage of my life I cared very little for fashion and very much for being an idealist. I was just starting to realize that there was more to being a tree hugger than just hugging trees-that my outward actions were what would make my inward convictions actually create positive change. I think that, back then, my outward appearance was a way of rejecting mainstream society for all of it's ills and trying to attract people who were more like me into my life. Maybe what I need to do is stop comparing myself to other women. Yeah, I'm not 20 years old anymore; I'm okay with that. The thing that feels so strange is having stumbled upon that fact so quickly. Somehow, before I carried the responsibility of being a Mom I didn't really feel like my actual age. Now, suddenly, almost overnight it seems, I really feel like an adult, and it' s a little bit scary. It's not bad, but it's different. My artistic soul sometimes has difficulty reconciling the free spirit within with the adult who has to care for a family. WOW. I love my life, though. So so so so much do I love my life. I've never been happier with my family life or with my spiritual life. For the first time I feel like I'm really in touch with who I am on a spiritual level. I think I know what my personal legend is and I'm trying to follow that inner knowledge of who I am to take the right steps and live my life in a way that is compatable with who I am and who I want to be. Being a Mom and a wife and an artist are wonderful, rewarding roles. So, maybe my focus is just a little off. The joy within should contribute to the beauty without, right?

No News is Good News...

I turned on the news this afternoon to be barraged with nothing but sad and otherwise bad news. The top headline was that the body of a newborn boy was found in a canal here in South Florida, complete with umbilical cord and placenta. I will never, as a Mom, understand how someone could just throw away her child. I understand that sometimes women get frightened about the prospect of being a parent; the idea of being responsible for another human being can be overwhelming and quite scary. There are options to leaving a baby someplace to die alone, however. Here in Florida a woman can leave a new baby at a firehouse and at any hospital with no questions asked. Then at least someone else will have a chance to raise the child and to know the joys of being a parent, and the child will have an opportunity to have a life. This story bothered me more than any of the others I saw this evening, because of the sheer tragedy of an innocent little baby being thrown into a canal and left to die. Following this story was a plug about contaminated bagged spinach (apparently someone working at a produce factory someplace forgot to wash their hands after they used the toilet???), which was disturbing considering my husband and I just ate bagged spinach last night. It was organic, so I don't know if we still fall into the cone of risk. So far, so good. Neither of us is experiencing nausea or exploding diarreah. Right after that story came a follow up to inquiries into the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son, Daniel. Imagine waking up in your hospital room, flushed with the joy of recently having given birth to a new baby, and having that joy turned to horror when you realize that your oldest child has passed away just a few feet from your bed. Follow that story up with the disappearance of Trenton Duckett and the suicide of his mother. I pray that this beautiful little boy is found alive, but the circumstances around this story seem a bit suspicious. The only good news was that Clay Aiken has given up his creepy look in favor of a more Beatle-esque style. Oh goody.

9/11/2006

While I was aware today of it being "9/11", I avoided watching any of the many programs about the horror of this day five years back. My only review of the attacks came from a slide show sent to me by a friend. The truth is that I want to move forward. I don't want to forget; indeed, how could any of us forget what happened that day. But, it makes me sad all over again to wallow in the details of the attacks, to look at the pictures, to read/hear about how the attacks were planned out. So many people's lives were effected by this event and I think the way we all look at the world changed after 9/11. No more do we feel immune to terrorism in our country; no more do we take it for granted that our airplines won't be hijacked or worse; maybe we love our friends a bit more deeply and cherish our families all the more because we're painfully aware of the fragility of life and of how quickly our lives can be altered or cut short. I choose not to live in fear, however, but in awareness. Moving forward means we win; it means that our spirits can't be defeated. I think that's the best way to honor those who died that day.

Funny Friday

Okay, AT, I'll bite:

Cruel :: Heart
Jive :: Talkin'
Weak :: Kneed
Understand :: Me
Bum :: Rush
Stairs :: Goals
Tone :: Hue
Quickly :: Smile
Moment :: New York
Beating :: Chicken
Wiggle :: In
Face :: Time
Adjustable :: Bed
Room :: Mate
Easy :: Sunday
Store :: Room
Maid :: Den
9 pm :: Already
Challenge :: Taken
Debt :: Nightmares

Will the Real Anina Please Stand Up

Here she is, my new adoptee. She goes to the vet tomorrow for her first visit. Hopefully she doesn't have worms or anything wrong with her, but tomorrow we'll find out. She seems to be happy in her new home, although the litter box isn't impressing her too much. This afternoon I found three little piles of poop around our bedroom. Unfortunately, my daughter found one of them before I did and had it all over her leg. Gross!!!! Of course, I freaked because I don't know if the cat has worms yet, so into the bath with the baby. This gave N another reason to dislike the kitten which is a bummer because I'm trying to convince him that she's a great addition to the family. Work with me, will ya Anina????

Anina

The Hebrew name Anina means "answer to a prayer" and that's the name of my new kitten. She was dropped off at my apartment yesterday morning by a girl friend who found her shaking and terrified on the engine of her car. Small wonder it is that she wasn't killed; her soft meowing saved her life. Anyway, knowing that I am a sucker for animals she brought little Anina to my house yesterday, which pretty much helped me decide that the condo N and I were thinking of renting was not for us. Beautiful though the condo is, they don't allow motorcyles, nor do they allow private washers/dryers, which for me is a necessity (although I was willing to give that much up for the killer, brand new kitchen that came with the condo) and the place doesn't have a bathtub, which I need for the babe. N was not happy about the motorcycle deal; he would've had to have parked the bike at a friend's house and it would've been a drag to have to retrieve it every time he wanted to riding. I'm not sure the "condo commando" atmosphere would be suitable for either of us; we both tend to balk at people telling us what to do, especially when they are telling us to do stupid things like not park a work truck outside the building. Just where the hell are you supposed to park your work truck, which makes you the money to live in the building in the first place? Oh the phoof of some poeple. Anyway, the kitten was an answer to my prayer that morning when I asked God to show us some sort of sign if he didn't think it would be best to move into that place. It was so gorgeous, spacious and inviting that I personally could not make the decision to say no on my own. God knows that I'm a little dense when it comes to "signs" and so He had to work fast. Had the sign been something other than a living, breathing being who is now depending upon me for her well being I might have decided to manipulate it into a sign that told us to take the place and throw caution to the wind. This picture isn't of our kitten, but she looks very much like this. I have taken a couple of digital shots but neither one does justice to her cuteness, and besides that I don't have time right now to schlep out the camera and download the pictures to my computer. Life of a Mom, don't ya know.

Thursday Night

I'm not sure why I'm blogging tonight. I don't really have anything witty to say. I probably don't even have much of anything of great interest to say. Still, here I am at my computer again. What I do feel tonight is grateful. For the past couple of weeks I've been sliding in and out of some sort of melancholy, mostly due to the overwhelmedness I've been feeling in over all of the things coming at me in my life. We need to move, business has been crazy, I don't have much time for myself and that makes it hard to cram in time for my artwork (although I've been getting better at it), we keep going through this, "We should buy a house; we can't afford to buy a house here; we should move away; moving away is scary because what if we can't be successful with the business if we move away; we should rent a house; renting a house will mean we'll be dumping too much money into rent that we should be saving to buy a house...." Yada yada yada. I'm frustrated with it all right now. Some days I miss the times when life was simpler. Of course, back then I wanted everything I have right now; right now I want everything I have right now. I just want us to be able to figure out exactly what the hell it is we want to do. I've been really drawn into the field of art therapy. I think it's what I want to do with my life after my little one starts school and I'm looking into what I will need to do to make that happen. I mentioned it to N and he mentioned being a teacher again. I don't want to be a teacher. Schools are too scary nowadays. Well, now I can't blog either because little one is screaming. See ya'll later.

Much Adieu About Nothing

Thankfully, Ernesto fizzled out before it reached the coast of Florida. All we got here was some rain and a little wind; it was a grey and rainy day today also. We now have a great supply of bottled water and I have to put the plants and furniture back out onto the balcony. I'm grateful that we didn't lose our power or suffer any damage to our vehicles or, more importantly, to ourselves. I'm hoping that the remainder of the hurricane season will be uneventful. N and I spent some time today looking for a place to rent. We checked out a cute little house in a nice neighborhood, but a walkthrough showed it to be too small for us. Also, it didn't have a yard and I would like to rent a house with a yard for Little R. Otherwise, I'd rather rent in another apartment complex, where we'll have a swimming pool and a gym like we have here. Anyway, I'm super tired today from being stressed out yesterday, so I'll check back later...

Tropical Storm Ernesto

So, here we go again. This is the third year in a row in Florida that we've been plagued by hurricanes. As I sit at my computer Ernesto is unleashing his fury over Cuba, whose mountains have calmed him a bit but probably only temporarily. It's predicted that once the storm moves out over the warm ocean again it's strength will increase and by the time it arrives on the mainland of Florida it could be a category one or two hurricane. Only time will tell what fun we'll be in for here in the sunshine state. I have already visited my local Publix to stock up on water, bread, and other supplies, but the lines at the gas station were too daunting for me to brave. Plus, I believe I would have run out of gasoline before I arrived at the pump to buy more. The lines at every station I passed were down the street; with a car full of groceries and a hungry and fussy almost two year old in the back seat I wasn't willing to wait for my fill of petrol. I'm frustrated to be going through this mess again; last year we lost power twice due to the storms, once for two weeks (and we were lucky; some were without power for a full month or more) and it was no fun. Where we live, all that's necessary to knock our power out is a strong wind. Since I'm not that hip on living in this state to begin with, having yet another hurricane only makes me want to take off for my western heaven even more. If it was possible, I have no doubt that I would pack up everything we own and leave for Colorado next week. Maybe G-d will bless us with that possibility at some point. For now, I'm a sitting duck waiting with the other sitting ducks for the storm to arrive. The news just said that probably the storm will reach us as a tropical storm rather than as a hurricane. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Monday Monday

Okay, AndyT13 had this on his blog so I'll bite. I don't have anything much to say tonight so here goes.

2 moments in your life you’d like to erase

1.Standing in the cemetary staring in disbelief at my father's coffin in the ground.
2.The night of his accident; okay, so I wasn't there, but it still effected my life hugely, as well as the lives of everyone around me, so it counts as a moment in my life.

4 moments I like to relive

1.The first time I set eyes on my newborn daughter
2.The most special intimate times with the loves of my life (tho' I'm married now, so that wouldn't be right)
3.The first time I saw the view from the top of a mountain
4.My first trip to Rocky Mountain National Park (heaven on earth!)

2 places you wouldn’t want to go again

1.My old High School during the 80's
2.To one of the most heartbreaking times of my life back in 2003, when I broke up with the guy I'd thought was "the one".

4 places you can’t wait to visit/visit again

1.Colorado
2.Ireland
3.Back home (Massachusetts)
4.Israel (yeah, I know that right about now that's fairly crazy)

2 foods you can’t stand

1.Pulled pork sandwiches
2.Meat if it isn't cooked right (ie, dried out, overcooked steak)

4 foods you love

1.Pizza
2.sushi
3.ice cream
4.Big gooey cheeseburgers with fries

2 current songs that make you change the station

I can't think of anything, but I'm not a big fan of top 40 or a lot of what they play on the dance/rock stations here in Florida. I search out what I like in record stores and play what I want on my cd player.

4 current songs you play over and over

1. Marvin Gaye: Let's Get It On
2. Anything by U2
3.Black 47 (pretty much everything they do is cool)
4.Any of the many Irish music cds currently in my possession
(so, I know that none of this is current, so to speak, but it's what I like)

2 books you’d never finish/read again

I can't think of any titles although I know that I've dumped quite a few books after reading a couple of chapters and flipping ahead to realize they were never, in a million years, going to hold my interest. The thing is, if the book didn't captivate me enough to keep reading, why would I remember the title?

4 books you have read more than once

1. "Toward a Meaningful Life"
2."Rebel Hearts" (about the IRA and the troubles in Ireland)
3."Whoredom in Kimmage" (about the travels of an Irish American woman in Ireland)
4.the Torah

Current mood: Content and sleepy

Yahoo!!!

Finally, finally, finally, I woke up yesterday morning and the depression had been lifted. Just like someone had pulled a veil off my head, suddenly I could see the world in all of it's brilliance again. And I mean that seriously and sarcastically. Once I'm out of the black hole I can really focus on what got me there in the first place and work on whatever issue is getting to me. I started reading a new book yesterday, one that I purchased recently, called "Jewish with Feeling" , and so far it's been really great. It's about understanding our spiritual path apart from the dogma and the rituals that might not be working for us. Even though at the moment I'm not really having a problem with either of those things I definitely believe that religion is just a pathway to our spiritual center and a pathway to our connection with God, and this book so far is awesome (and I've only read 16 pages). Some amazing things have also happened which support the direction I want to take in my life, although I have no idea how that direction will be manifested. I only know that life is a series of steps. Sometimes we just have to keep walking and doing the right things. Over the past couple of years I've had life take some twists and dips that I never saw coming and never could have anticipated, but they lead me to wonderful places. That's all for tonight. I'm off to have dinner at the beach with my family. Peace y'all.

Friday...

An unoriginal title, I know, but I'm still too depressed to think of anything creative. I don't know what's wrong with me; I feel like a whiny beeatch. Pretty soon I'll be tired even of myself. I know this will pass, but when I have no idea. But these sort of moods always pass, and then I'll have an upswing of emotion. I'm going to go to synagogue tonight, if this health insurance guy N scheduled to come over is gone by then. He's coming at 6:30; almost the worst possible time on the worst possible day. The problem with interfaith relationships is that it's hard to have any real feeling of the religion you want to bring your kid up with unless the other person is into it. If they aren't, then you end up feeling like you're forcing it on your spouse, so you end up trying to back off, and pretty soon you aren't into it anymore either because you've gotten so far away from it, and then you resent that. It's a no win situation and I've never been able to figure out the answer to it. I guess I'll wing it tonight. I'll light my candles after the guy leaves but I doubt we'll be able to have the Shabbat dinner that I've been trying to do each week because there won't be enough time left over, and anyway I don't think N is into it so I'll probably just end up aggravating him with it.

Hmph

I am in such a bad mood today. I don't know why; maybe I'm just annoyed that all my friends seem to be taking off for other parts of the country just because they feel like moving someplace new and I'm still in Florida. N stayed home for most of the day today trying to get some work done and that screwed up my groove with the baby a little bit. I wasn't able to take her anyplace and she gets a little crazy when she is cooped up all day long (as do I). I made a big pot of chili and don't have the appetite to eat any of it. I'm stir crazy, restless, irritable, somewhat discontent, and just in a general F- it mood. Sorry. That's just the way it is today. Someone keeps posting a link of which I have no interest in my comment box, so I had to change the settings on my blog to accept only registered users of this site. No offense to anyone who doesn't have a blog here, but why don't ya'll get one??? I don't have time to peruse junk mail and have no interest in gambling and other such useless sites. Hell, I barely have time to even be on the computer, so my time here has to be well spent. I'm the type of person who pretty much only reads books which can teach me something (and, I read A LOT) so why would I want to check out web sites that are basically just trying to sell me garbage??? Anyway, enough of that. I want to be in Colorado right now, maybe hiking in the woods someplace. It's around 2:15pm there right now; that would give me a little bit of time out in nature. I need Colorado's vibe in my life right now. So far, over the past three or four years two good friends of mine have moved there and now my closest friend in Florida is considering it. If she goes I swear I might just go over the deep end. I'd be glad for her but wondering why it feels like God is dangling this huge carrot in front of me all the time. It's like, I'm supposed to go there but I have no idea how I'm supposed to get there. Every time I push my longing to move there into the back of my conscious mind (I suppose it is always in my unconscious mind, which is what is giving me all of the trouble) someone brings it up that they are moving there, that they know someone who just moved or is moving there, or I get an email from my girl friend out there, or I see an ad on tv, or, well, you get the picture. I'm probably just going mad, is all. Just going mad...

Attitude is Essential for Survival

I love Madonna. Maybe I'm just a child of the 80's, but I love her for her intelligence-she knows how to make people think by stirring them up emotionally and she knows how to stay on top of her game by constantly evolving and changing. She started out humbly and worked her butt of to get to where she is now, and I love that she has never let anybody stop her from being successful. No matter what people say about her, she keeps pushing forward; she has chutzpah. I might not agree with everything she does, but at least I can respect her drive and tenacity.

My car wouldn't start today when we came out of the supermarket. There I was with my daughter in the 90 plus heat, trying in vain to get the engine to turn over. I called DH, who told me he would come to help me get it running via a push start, but after 45 minutes I decided to try getting it started again ( I actually tried twice before also) and, voila, it started up and I was able to drive home. Of course, by then DH had arrived; he was right by the market when I called to tell him we were okay. I was grateful that it started at all. I need to take it to the shop on Friday when hopefully they will fix it. And this, of course, is a minor annoyance in a world where there is much trouble abrew.

Safe at Home in the U.S. (for now...)

It's Thursday night, all is quiet and I have a pot of beef stew simmering on the stove. News from Israel made me cry earlier; I watched a newscast from Israel and it was frightening. The only thing that made me feel better was learning that many of the Labanese people don't agree with the recent violent actions that have been taken against Israel and some have actually gone to Israel to fight alongside the Israelis. I believe in my heart that G-d gave Israel to the Jewish people and that ultimately anyone who harms us will find nothing but pain and trouble. When I write this I do not mean that G-d doesn't love people of all religions, because I believe He does, just that others should maybe think about being open minded to the fact that although we might worship in different ways, live according to different traditions, and have different rituals through which which we keep our connection with G-d strong, that doesn't mean that we don't all enjoy an equal relationship with our Higher Power. Call Him whatever you want; I have to know what is right for me, as a Jew. I need to follow the path I was called to follow, to be the person G-d wants me to be. If I'm following the rituals that were given to my fellow tribesmen (and women) to keep us close to G-d, studying Torah, praying every day, keeping the Sabbath (I don't always succeed at this to the letter, but I'm doing the best I can right now), etc., I remain strong in my faith and I feel close to G-d. When I let these things slide I don't feel as close to G-d and I become more subsceptable to the lure of other religions. Since my husband isn't Jewish, this is even more of an issue for me. It's easier for me to follow his religion, less lonely going to church with him that to synagogue "alone", but the cost to my own peace of mind is too great. My soul is a Jewish soul; I cannot deny this any more than I can deny that I am a member of the human race. The crisis in Israel has only made me feel closer to her. And, I feel very grateful to be home tonight eating beef stew with my family. Just for today.

Spirituality Revisited

Over the past few months I've written a lot about my spiritual path; it has taken many twists and turns and I've felt much confusion. It doesn't help that everywhere Christian fundamentalists are telling me that if I'm not a Christian I'm going to hell, etc... The thing is, over the past three months that I've been trying to follow this path of Christianity with my husband I've felt more cut off from G-d than ever. I felt like my Judaism was keeping me on a clearer path, giving me ideas I could relate to and understand. In short, it felt like my soul, rather than an outergarment. Last night my husband was watching John Hagee on television and he began ranting about how environmentalists are screwing up our economy (I happen to be one of those environmentalists) by not allowing drilling to take place in the Arctic Refuge because we're trying to protect "some fuzzy little animals". Never mind that any oil found in the refuge isn't going to pull us out of the mess we're in with the oil situation (that is a collosal lie perpetuated by people who have money to be made in the oil industry. Do you think Exxon is going broke-no!!!). I was highly offended by that comment as well as by many other things he said. I used to leave the room when my husband would put him on but I've been trying to be open minded and to learn something. The problem is that in order to learn anything about Judaism you need to talk with a rabbi. Biblical translations don't seem to come out the same way when they are performed by Christians and Jews. For me, I tend to believe the Jewish ones; maybe I'm just biased. I felt like a rabbi never would have made the comments John Hagee made with regard to the oil crisis-at least, the rabbi at my temple wouldn't have. He believes that we are stewards of this earth and have an obligation to care for her. That is a part of how we show our respect for G-d. I've felt over the past three months that I've had to alter my gut feelings and beliefs so much that the ideas I was following didn't feel natural anymore. Now I feel like I can't be something I'm not, that in spite of my best intentions to keep my family unified through one religion I can't deny that part of my soul which is Jewish, which has always been Jewish. My hope is that I'm not offending anyone with this passage; I just felt a need to talk about it. This morning I read a peice on Aish.com called "-In My Father's Footsteps" which talked about how the writer's Father's deep committment to his Judaic path profoundly influenced his son's life in a beautiful way. By the end of the story I was in tears-deep, heartfelt tears. He talks about how in a world where assimilation is so rampant, his father reaffirmed his Jewish beliefs and in doing so gave his son a wonderful gift that he can now pass along to his own children. I encourage you to read it-it's under the "Family" section (http://www.aish.com/family/heart/In_My_Fathers_Footsteps.asp). Everyone must make their own decisions. I know for I cannot continue as I have been, feeling this wall between me and my higher power. Perhaps it comes from my family roots. I'm not sure.

Back in the Swing

I finally got caught up on all the work that piled up while I was gone. That meant spending a LONG time at my desk this morning, which Little R was not thrilled about, but at least it's done and I don't have to shrink back in horror every time I cast a glance over by the computer. Other than that I got tons of errands done today and will have some time free (hopefully) to spend in the pool tomorrow with a girl friend who is coming back again from a drunken episode. I do have to call some health insurance companies also, as it has recently come to light that the insurance we currently have might not be that good. I hate dealing with this sort of thing; there are so many creeps here in Florida, all promising that their health insurance is the best for the money being asked for. I don't know who to believe anymore, so I end up not believing anyone. I'm going to have to do what I should have done when we first began looking into obtaining health insurance-call companies on my own and get some quotes. I am well aware that this can take up oodles of time but hope that if I get an early start I can get a few quotes to show to hubby before the whole first half of our day is shot out!!! On a creative note, I purchased a couple of really cool brushes while I was in Mass. but so far have not been able to use them yet. There is never enough time in my day and I'm STILL trying to figure out a way to work artistic time into my day. I was so burned out before our vacation, and this was largely due to not having my creative outlet.
p.s.-My image refused to upload, thus I have none with this post...

Just getting home

I just returned from a two week trip to Massachusetts to visit family. It was a nice visit; just long enough to make me happy to be back home, although I miss everyone already. Sleeping on an air mattress and living in someone else's house gets tiring after awhile. N came up and I had an opportunity to show him Cape Cod; he loves it there but his business license is here so I don't see us moving up north any time soon. Please pray for me that our hurricane season is less exciting than forecasters predict. I felt like the time spent up north gave my daughter and I special time to really bond, without the distractions of work and home responsibilities. My family was really knocked out by her; she has so much personality and is talking everyone up, learning new words every day and repeating everything she hears. N and I are beginning to play the "spell words out" game because little R knows what so many words mean now. Say "cookie" and you'd better have a sweet in hand or you might just lose a few fingers. It's funny, I've heard people call us native Massachuseans "Massholes", but people were very courteous to me while I was there. Around Miami people usually won't stop to let me cross the street, even with the baby carriage, but up north people were stopping to let me cross the street, smiling at me. Getting off the airplane into Miami International Airport, I definitely knew I was back in my other home. The sound of Spanish is so familiar to my ears that I'm beginning to learn the language without much effort on my part, and my husband met me in front of a Cuban restaurant with a few shots of Cuban coffee, which I love (for those uneducated in coffee, Cuban coffee comes in "shot" cups for a very good reason; I drank about three or four after arriving back in Florida and was flying high for short while). We walked outside to the warm embrace of a muggy Miami afternoon, battled rude drivers on the highway home, and pulled into our apartment complex at around 3PM where I crashed from days and days of non stop running and nights filled with sporadic sleep episodes. Life is good.