I was sitting in my usual spot at the kitchen table, guzzling my morning coffee and reading a book I just purchased entitled "Cottage Witchery" by Ellen Dugan when suddenly I was overcome with a sadness that brought tears to my eyes. Something she wrote (I can't remember what it was now, being a busy Mom who is almost always doing more than two things at a time) touched a chord deep within my being. I was overcome with a feeling of loss over being so far from my family and from the places where I grew up and where my childhood memories are. It's not like I'm in a mental place where I hate Florida today (although I do occasionally experience those days); if anything, I've been content since I returned from our trip to Massachusetts. I love our little home and our tiny garden and the local wildlife (which consists of birds, fish and iguanas), as well as the friends and acquaintances I have here. My recent trip home was difficult on an emotional level, so when I came back south I felt a sense of calm, like I was safe within my own world once again. I do miss my family, though, and the energies of New England. It's where I'm from and a part of her will always run in my veins. The sadness was only momentary; I went on with my day, too busy to consider it much further. But, it was so sharp, so gut wrenching in the moment, like a hard pinch underneath the arm that takes you by surprise. And now, here I am in the moment, as my daughter runs upstairs to show me what a brilliant shade of pink she's painted her big toe!
This little girl showed up yesterday out of the blue, quite literally. I'm actually not sure if the bird is a girl, but I've been calling her that because she seems to have a girly vibe. Bebe and I were getting ready to go out when I saw her across the street. People were walking by here, glancing at her briefly, and then continueing on their way without giving her much thought, but I thought she was beautiful in that she's completely white and has huge eyes. After standing on the sidewalk for a moment watching her, she toddled across the street and stood on the sidewalk next to us, giving us the observatory bird side eye. I was amazed that she was tame enough to venture so close to us (especially to my daughter, who is in the crazy three stage). When we returned home a couple of hours later I was surprised to see her still on the sidewalk, back on the other side of our street. I enticed her back to us with some birdfood, and when my husband arrived home he fed her as well. This morning when Bebe and I walked him out to his truck White Bird was still there, waiting patiently to be fed again, maybe. I obliged her by giving her a meal of some rolls, and while she was eating I checked her over a bit visually. Her wings appear to be fine, nothing hanging where it shouldn't be and no feathers clipped. I don't know if she was once someone's family member or if she just wandered here by chance, nor do I know how long she will stay with us. It's special and cool to have a member of nature come hang out for awhile, though. It's rare that we get to interact with the animal world at such a close level. 
I think our fridge is on it's way to being broken. It was fine as of yesterday, making not a peep out of the ordinary, but this morning it began making a funny whistling noise and now every time it cycles on it starts sounding like it's about to sprout wings and take off for the clouds. It seems like the compressor might be getting ready to take a crap and I'm none too happy about that, since we have quite a bit of food in the fridge and it can be difficult getting things fixed when landlords are involved. I'm projecting, however. Maybe it won't be a problem at all. I wish I could just wave my wand and the problem would be solved, but my magic doesn't generally work that way. I guess I could try...
Blogger isn't cooperating with me tonight and I'm too tired to fight with the site. I got Bebe into bed ontime (I've been struggling with trying to get a reasonable schedule going and think I'm finally winning the battle - I'm so undisciplined) and, although I felt tired, I pulled out my paints and worked on my painting for awhile. I was a little bit tired at first but was buoyed by the thought that the only time I will ever have to be creative is at night after my daughter has gone to bed and the house is quiet. There isn't any time left in the day anymore; it seems like every minute is filled with doing work for N, raising our daughter, cleaning house, running errands, cooking. It's insane how busy I am most days; I swear I'm busier nowadays than I was when I worked at the law office. Anyway, the important thing is that I got a little painting in tonight. If I can keep doing this a few times a week (and once I start I feel great because art is one of my passions) I should be able to get this painting done and to its rightful owner. That leaves me free to work on other peices, which I'm excited about. I'm EXHAUSTED now and am going to find my way to bed. 
The party went well on Saturday. All the kids we invited showed up (although I had a moment of Mommy anxiety since most everyone showed up a little bit late and I feared no one would show at all), there were lots of games for the kids to play, we had plenty of food, Bebe got lots of cool gifts, and everyone seemed to have a good time. The only bad moment was when Chuck E. Cheese came out to do his Chucky dance and one of my daughter's friends started screaming in terror. My best friend's husband whispered, "No one likes a rat." to my husband, which I thought was funny, and I told little Dez that I thought Chucky was a bit scary also. As for Bebe, she laughed and blew out her candles, almost in one puff. How did she get to be three so quickly? 
Bubbe's kitty showed up a couple of days ago, after almost one whole week of being missing. We don't know where she was, only that she was clean upon her arrival home, if not a bit sickish. I'd put a couple of posters around town in the hopes that someone would find her and call; I'm not sure if her sudden appearance at 3AM had anything to do with that. I think that probably she just escaped from wherever she was; it'd been raining here for days while she was gone so she must have been sheltered someplace. I did a meditation the day before she returned. Bubbe had feared the worst, but when I did the meditation I had a very strong feeling that she was alive and basically okay but feeling not feeling well. I'm relieved that she returned home; she is Bubbe's companion and one of the only creatures keeping her sane these days, when her life seems to be filled with so much difficulty. 
I reserved a party at Chuck E. Cheese for little one for next Saturday, so that's off my mind somewhat now. I'm relieved, actually, because usually we do parties at our house and that means I spend more time in the kitchen than I do hanging out with our friends. It will be more fun for our daughter, and it will mean zero cleanup for me after the festivities have ended. 
